my adventure with soban to russia

[Laggen Wolfram]

FIRSTLY I AM NOT A FAN

SECONDLY THIS IS NOT FICITON

one day i was training with dummy. then Soban comes up and says "LAGGEN WOLFRAM COEM WITH ME QUICK THERE ISD TROUBLE IN RUSSIA," so i say "what kind of trouble in russia. there is jus snow, and snow is bad for me." And Soban says "THEN BRING A COAT BECUASE WE HVAE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM!"

So then we get in sky skimmer and fly to russias with Soban adn the Razor Fists. they try and tricks me at risk but i am too clever for that. I pick the Soban figure and i win the game and they have to give me money. They said "NO WE WILL NOT BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE THE SOBAN FIGURE." and isaid "stop yelling Razor Fists." and Soban said "stop yelling it is time to tell you aabout our mision."

So Soban told me and the the Razor Fists about the mission that was ahead of us on the day of the mission. "The mission is to find out if there are fishys in russia that makes people live longer then they should be. becaise the reapers do not like that any longer."

So i aks Soban, "how would we solve the mystery." and he said "ther is no mystery, there is only the mission." So i nodded my head and went to sleep for the trip.

later we did land in russia in a farm, the farmer did not like that all. "I will tell on you on to the kremlin" said the farmer and i laughed and took out my tail and whipped the farmer until he ran back into his house.

"Dont do that again Laggen" said Soban, "you are becoming the enemies that we must to fight on the missions" So i laughed over and said "ok i will not whip at farmers with my tail any more" and me nad Soban did our secret handshake, whcih was different from a normal handshake because we only have four fingers on our hands.

We walked into a town in our power armor weher the enemies wherer supposed to be on teh mission. "COME OUT COME FISHY ENEMY" i yell in the town but no fishies come out. So Soban said, "Those fish lured us into a trap! get out of here real quick Laggen Wolfram. If somethign was to happen then the mission that is on today would be a disaster."

So i run and i run into a insect. "I will make you extinct this time garco" said the insect in his clicking noises. But i simply laughed at his face because today i broght my mosquito propellant on me for the mission and the insect just looked at me angirly and walked real fast into ship and went into space.

Soban started yelling and i decided to go back now because it was darker and the innerji maybe would not see me at night because the moon was covered by a cloud. When i went back Soban was no longer there. Ther was only Soban footprints in the russian snow. I yelled at the loudest yell "SOOOOOOOOOOOOOBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. WE DID NOT HAVE TO STOP THE TROUBLE IN RUSSIA. YOU ARE THE TROUBLE IN RUSSIA."

So i ran faster than the footprints to get wher e they were. I found complex of communists with their guns and towers and tansk. There was barbed wire fence that stood in my way but i did not worry becase i was wearing my power armor and not anything less. I also had scales, so i ran through the barbed wire. But then the towres saw me and spot light came on me and soldier ran and say "STOP RIGTH WERE YOU ARE LAGGEN WOLFRAM!" in Russian but i did not know that at the time because i did not speak russian. THen i laughed an chopped the soldiers with armblades. I broke a guys legs then i ripped arms off bodies of soldiers. THen soldier comes up behidn me but I am too clever for that. I thrun around and crush his head with beer hands.

The tanks started firing and i heard someone shout "LAGGEN WOLFRAM STOP IT." and i turned to see Soban, my friend, being captured by the russians. He was at gun point, by the big boss, so i had no choice but to drop my arms down and not be kiling the russiasns.

"Yes that is a good garco" said the big boss and i was angry but had no choice because Soban was in danger.

We were takin to the big base of th big boss and there were msissiles and jets and submarine in the hange. If there was no trouble in Russia then maybe iw ould have had fun but there was so i didnt.

They took us to the submarine and the big boss said "this submarine is the greatest vehicle ever made. It will win the war against hte garcos, the innerjie, and the halbrassen" and i said "WHY YOU DO THIS RUSSIANS. THE FISH KEEP LENIN ALIVE." and big boss said "We are not really russians after all, but we are better in fact." and big boss took of russian human mask and was a insect.

"NOT YOU AGAIN" i yelled at the loudest i could. It was the insect from earlier today. "Everything about fishes was a big lie to bring YOU and SOBAN here to russsia where the mission will end."

The russians took of their masks and all of them were insects two. so laughed and laughed because i had had my insect repellant! but as i sprayed they laughed at me. "LAGGEN WOLFRAM, WE ARE SPECIAL BECAUSE WE DO NOT GET HURT BY BUG SPREAY. TIME DO DIE!"

to be continued...?

[Ion]

It's really good! Write another one! I'm waiting anxiously for the next installment.

You need to work on your tone a bit though... I almost can't feel the urgency toward the end of the story.

[The Hilarity]

10/10

Would read again.

[boromeer3]

I still think Ion should've linked Laggen to shock sites. That'd be the best.

[MCXL]

I'm definitely feeling the love on this one.

10/10

[Gothic]

Oh , Thats Wicked

11/10

[Cakeman]

Please make a sequel, please.

[Ion]

I wonder when we could expect to see the climactic end of the mission to stop the trouble in Russia...

[Laggen Wolfram]

retirement has left me with a lot of time

NOW I WILL BE CONTINUING THE STORY OF A GARCO, HIS ADVENTURE TO A RUSSIA, AND HIS BEST FRIEND, ONE NAMED: RELKAR SOBAN

the Big Boss put Soban on a conveyor belt as he turned on the submarine, Soban was slowly going toward the propeller "THAT ISNT ENOUGH" said the Big Boss and he set the propeller on fire and put acid on it. acid flew off and hit an insect in the eye and he screamed and fell down. "THAT WILL BE HAPPENING TO YOU SOON SOBAN. DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT IS YOUR CHOSEN TO DIE!" then big boss had insects put me in torpedo tube. i said "this hole is not made for me" so i jumped out and started to kill insects; but first i did put one of the insects in the torpedo since it was in fact made for him too. The torpedo flew out and made a big fire in the hanger which did kill ten insects when i ran to save my best friend from the big boss's decided death.i started to kill insects But then the big boss made the conveyer belt go fast so i had to stop and the conveyer belt was slow again.

“why do you do this insect? why do you come here to fight and win. sometiems i want to win because Soban is always a winner” I shouted at the big boss and he looked at me with his compond eyes and says in his clicking noises “BECAUSE WE INSECT WILL GET OUR VICTORY THAT WAS DESERVED OF US IN THE OLD WORLD. BUT NOW I HAVE THE MEANS TO TAKE IT. I HAVE BEEN TO TERAN EARTH. I HID WITH THE HUMANS AS ONE OF THIER STARS OF THE MOVIES AND LIVED IN THEIR TINSEL TOWN. I MOVED IN THEIR PICTURes AND WAS PAID THEIR MONEY FOR THE SERVICES THAT I LET ALONE COULD AFFORD TO PROVIDE TO THEM. I PORTRAYED THE HUMAN IN THEIR WAR OF THE WORLDS, WHEN LITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT I WAS THE WAR OF THEIR WORLDS. WE HAVE BEEN IN EARTH TERAN DIMENSION FOR MANY YEAR. WE HAVE STUDIED AND WE HAVE GROWN THIS SUBMARINE OF ULTIMATE TRIUMPH. IT CAN CARRY SIX MISSLES, MOR THAN ENOUGH TO KILL ANYTHING THAT MOVES. WHERE WERE YOU?" and i said "well mainly i like to be in my secret safe house on the Britanain island but sometimes i like to be in germany too" and the big boss said "THAT IS NOT THE QUESTION. THIS TIME WE WILL BEAT YOU GARCO. THIS IS THE LIBERTY THAT WE HAVE WON FOR OURSELVES!"

and i said "wat" and he said "I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR A LONG TIME" but then Soban jumped down and punched the Big boss in the face because he was now free. "WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN" he clickedd and me nad Soban started to kill insects. But then the big boss fired a tank at us and next we found ourselves in the submarine. the submarine prison.

"where are we" i asked Soban, and he said "we are in the submarine prison. WE MUST GET OUT SO THAT THE MISSION WILL NOT END IN A DISTASTOR" so i made a plan and stuck with it. we had no armblades, only scales, so we had to go trough the air vents of the submarine and not the metal bars of the submarine prison. me and Soban crawled in and moved under compond eyes of insects. we found insects in their break room watching their war of the worlds movie and laughing in their clicking noises, but war of hte worlds was not hte one the big boss was in, but the real one that will happen. me and Soban jumped out and the insects ahd no time to react. they were scared and surprised adn ttried to act but me nad Soban acted first and better than they did. in fact we acted better than how the big boss acted in the war of the worlds movie, the TERAN EARTH one, not the real one that will happen. i and Soban acted until the insects were all just a pile of dead arms. "they wont truble us anymroe, they are just arms and arms cannot make trouble." i said

then some insects came in and said "why arent you on your break" but they saw the dead arms and me and Soban killed them and their arms so me and Soban would not be known as escapers. Me and Soban ran thorugh the submarine and killed the insects in the vents, the bedrooms, and the insect spots. also the radar room ahd insects so we killed the ones in there. we killed every insect except for one: the big boss. big boss was not in any spot me and Soban could think of so we headed to the one place a submarine like this one always had.

Soban and me made it the command deck. Ther was a note on the button that started the launching of the nuke. the note said "I PUSHED THIS BUTTON" the note was written by the big boss. i knew this since big boss had signed his name on the note. he pushed the button that would win the war against the garcos, innerji, and the halbrassen. Soban ran to a control pannel and tried to close the missle doors. "THE DOORS WONT CLOSE. BIG BOSS MUST BE KEEPING THEM OPEN. YOU MUST MAKE SURE THE DOOR CLOSES LAGGEN, OR ELSE THE WARHEAD WILL CAUSE THE ENEMY TO MAKE TOO MUCH TROUBLE FOR ALL THE GARCOS INNERJI AND THE HALBRASSEN TOO. ALSO THE HUMANS ARE IN THIS STAKE!" so Soban and i did our secret handshake, which if you remember, is didffernt from a normal handshake because me and Soban only have four fingers on our hands.

I walked onto the top of hte submarine and it was cold and storming wht lighitng in teh sky. ther was also snow and ice in the water. waqter like the one aroudn the submarine could be the cause of pain if i fell because it was cold like snow and snow is, if you remebedrd, bad for me. "WHAT IS THIS SOBAN?" i shouted in the raido and the radio crackerd "WE MUST BE NEAR THE NORTHERN POLE. BECAREFUL LAGGEN BECAUSE IT IS COLD AND YOU COULD DIE SINCE COLD BLOOD DOES RUN THROUGH THE VAINS OF OURS." but then the radio crackerd for the last time in its radio life becuase its batteries died. I dropped the dead radio on the submarine, up ahead was no use for ddead radios.

I walked and found the big boss holding the missle doores open with his arms. the big boss turned to me and i said "you cant open the door and fight me stupid insect, even with your four arms" since he had to use all his arms to fight and he only had four arms like how garcos have four fingers, but it was odd becaus insects only had two legs like garcos, humansm , inerji , and somtimes halbrassen too. but then he took out some arms and said in his clicking noises, "its a good thing i brought my brothers dead arms wit me than" so he uesd the arms to keep proppoing the missle dooors open and he turned to face me. his brothers dead arns caused trouble, so i was wrong earleir

me nad the big boss charged at each other and started to punch at each other . I punched him in his left compound eye and it crushed like a cheap house. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT" he said to me but i laughed because now it was fair because my left eye was dead like big bosses brothers arms, but that is a story for a warmer day.

i pushed him on the ground and punched his head. I punched hard and his head hit the submarine with a clang. i picked him up and threww him but he got back up. i tried to grab him but i flipped, but i easyly landed on my feat . i jumped on him and punched on his chest until i broke his exoskeleton like how rock breakes scissors blades.

he kicked me in the chest with his power legs and i flew and almost fell off the submarine but then i grabbed onto something. that is why this is the greatest vehicle ever made. i was only inches form being cold, wet, and even dead too. big boss shouted with some clicks but not too many so i could uderstand what words he made. "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND AND AROUND GARCO AND NOW YOU TOO WILL SEE THE END OF THE MISSION TO RUSSIA THAT YOU HAVE STARTED END IN THE WAY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER WANTED. YOU WILL DIE." and then big boss laughed in all clicking noises this time so i didnt know what he says.

[Laggen Wolfram]

but this is the greatest vehicle ever made. so with my might strenght of my muscles, i lifted myself and shot myself up ove r the endge and flipping up over the insect, landing behind him. with this move and moveiing i punched him with extra power and he twisted around and fell. i rised my foot to stomp on him lbut he rolls ou t waway and jumps and and swings down on my head. we exchanegd blows that shattered our bodies and weakend us. we continuied our leayan punching, back and forth. but soon we had no more enegry and i could not get more at this time. i punched the big boss he and stumbled backwards next to the missle hole. "WHY DO YOU FIGHT US GARCO. IT IS OUR DESTINY TO WIN AND WE WILL TAKE IT THIS TIME" and i said "No, I have already won." and i puched him wiht a punch that would end this misson in victory. there was a lound rumbling as he fell down the missle hole.

he fell down the missle tube seconds right before the missle went up. When it did the big boss was on top of it. i heard clanking of the submraine behind me but i didnt turn around. good thing it was Soban. Me and Soban watched the missle go up into the sky until we could almost not see the firefy flaming tail of distatstor. The the missile then exploded in a big explosion. i coudl swere i heard teh clickign laugh of the big boss. Soban and me watched the sky as the ash and fallout fell down, but i did not know what fallout was at the time, so me and Soban let the fallout fall on us. "The mission is ended. But it is ended in the way that we are not expecting. t has ended in disastor!"

We then went runnign back to the command deck, there was now a reading on the missle that exploded from the cmputer paenl that also had the button and the note of the big bosses victory. "this is wierd, the missle hit hte sky, and not any humans or garcos. the system says the missle was locked onto the sky. the sky is the only target here." Soban said then i found a log book that had the insects plans. it turns out that they wanted to use thte missle explosion to signal their fleet to this world, thus to win the war agaisnt the garcos, innerji, and halbrassen, but hte reading said that the explosion was too much small-time because the big boss wieghed it down and it couldnt get high enough to be important.

me and Soban laughed like how we laugh at Conservatives, too bad the submarine was still on cruise control and we couldnt drive it to the free nations because we didnt submarine driving licenses and i dont know about Soban, but already i had too many tickets from Hitler and the Nazis. So me and Soban jumped onto a passing ice floe. it was hard to balance, but we had tails that maid it really easier. since there was nothing ot do as we waited, we caught the falling ash and fallout on our toungs. it tasted bad, but not as bad as a mission ending with distastor.

We finally floated down and reached Britannia island. when we got on land, me nad Soban laughed, then we left. he said "good by best friend i hope we met again soon for another imssion, but not a mssion that ends in disastor." and laughed big laughs only a garco that wasnt a Conservative could do. we did our secret handshake and he went fo r a pickup at a nearby base that was waiting for a translation while i made my way to my secret base on the white cliffs of bone.

AND THAT IS THE STORY OF A GARCO.

A STORY OF HIS ADVENTURE.

A STORY OF HIS BEST FRIEND: RELKAR SOBAN.



FIN

[Ion]

Seriously, this should be read by everyone.

[Pedro]

uh.....i dont get it. i'm guessing its too complex for me. but still, good job, i could never type that much

[Binky]

Tl;dr, but it looks FANTASTIC!:P

[Teh Infernal Zombine]

No Laggen Wolfram, it is YOU who is the alien.

And then Laggen Wolfram was an alien.

[Ion]

No Laggen Wolfram, it is YOU who is the alien.

And then Laggen Wolfram was an alien.

What? Now people are reading this? Why is this so?

[Teh Infernal Zombine]

What? Now people are reading this? Why is this so?

I guess it´s the Binky effect.

[Ion]

I guess if Gotmorr.com and all it's GMs didn't disappear, there would be no 'so silly' stories here.