Saveth
03-05-2008, 07:41 AM
Hello there, I'm training my writing skills so I wrote this little chapter in a story I call Confirm. This chapter's about the old cop Jacob, who almost lives in the woods. There might be some grammar problems here and there.
Chapter 1:
The alarm clock rings. Jacob opens his eyes. He slowly turns his head and looks at the alarm clock. 7:01. Slowly, he raises his hand and presses the snooze button. Tired he bends himself up from the bed. Morning already? He climbs up from the bed while scratching his back. He lowers his arm and puts on his slippers. Yawning he walks through the hallway and down the stairs. He walks into the kitchen and turns on the coffee boiler. He grabs a cup out of the plate rack and puts it one the table. Out off the fridge he grabs a cartoon of milk and puts it on the table as well. He opens the larder door next to the fridge and searches for the sugar bowl, but can’t find it. Mumbling he searches through shelf, but still can’t find it. He turns his look to the counter to see if it was there, but it wasn’t. Annoyed, he takes out a new bowl, fills it with sugar cubes and puts it on the table. He walks to the hallway and opens the outer door, but the sight surprises him. Snow? What the hell? He looks around and hopes to find something, but he doesn’t know what to find. He walks out on the balcony and stops for a second. Odd, he thinks for himself. Where does it come from? He walks out on the entrance towards the mailbox, but when he opens it, there’s nothing there. The mailman’s never late, where the hell’s my newspaper? Annoyed he walks in and closes the door.
He walks into the living room and grabs the book that he’s been reading for a while.
If I don’t get my news paper, I’ll get something else to read. He takes a look at the clock hanging on the wall. 7: 12. Did that take 10 minutes? He walks into the kitchen and puts the book on the dinning table. He grabs the cup and walks to the counter, where he fills the cup with coffee. With a cup of boiling hot coffee in his hand, he walks towards the dinning table. He drags a chair backwards and sat down on it. He pours some milk in the coffee and drops a sugar cube in it too. He raises the cup to his lips and takes a drink of the delicious coffee. At the station, Jacob had been known as the coffee king because of his awesome coffee. Even his boss asked him to make coffee for him sometimes, who hates coffee more than anything on the world.
He lowers the cup and picks the book up. He tries to read a few sentences, but he can’t get the snow out of his mind. He tries to read more and keep drink his coffee, but after a while he can’t stand it anymore.
Jacob puts the book on the table and drinks up the last drops off his coffee. He pushes himself away from the table and slowly climbs up from the chair. He walks away to one of the windows and looks out. Snow in this time of the year? Something’s got to be wrong. He walks into the living room, picks up the remote control and turns the TV on. He patiently waits for the ancient piece of garbage to turn on. He has been thinking on buying a new one, but they’re all so expensive. A thousand dollars for something that he has to change after a few years? They have so many features that it would take his whole life to learn what everything does. The picture finally pops up. He swaps to the news channel, only to discover an annoying static. What the heck? He checks his watch. 7:44 AM. Maybe it’s just a problem with my TV aerial, I can fix that later. He started to walk up the stairs.
He was halfway up the stairway when a loud noise made him loose the grip of stair rail and fell downwards. Quickly he grabbed it again, but his back slammed into it too. A weak pain strained through his back, but not so serious. What the hell was that noise? Holding one hand on his back, he quickly walks up the stairs. He went through the small hall upstairs into his bed room and took a look through the window. There’s nothing outside, just those trees and a hell a lot of snow that shouldn’t be there! Then were did the sound come from? He sat down on the bed and took his slippers and his pyjamas pants of. He opened the closet and took out a new shirt and a pair of pants, which he put on the bed. He closed the closet, opened a drawer and took a pair of socks out, which he also laid on the bed. He put on the socks and the pants, when another noise came. He froze for a second. Okay, I’m getting a little ???? annoyed. He looked through the window again. Still there was nothing. He opened the window and bend through it. He looked on the road towards the city. Still nothing. He got a little frightened. I’ve never heard a sound like that, and I can’t see where it comes from. The TV is broken and strangest of all, there’s snow outside. It’s in the middle of June for Christ sake! Then a thought popped up in his mind. Maybe a nuclear power plant had meltdown! That might be where the sound came from, and this snow is actually radioactive dust! He quickly bends in again and closed the window. His heart started to pound fast. This isn’t good for an old man like me, come on Jacob, deep breath, deep breath.
When he had calm down, he put his shirt on and went downstairs and discovered that the TV was turned on. Wait a minute, I’m pretty sure I turned that thing of, he thought for himself.
Scared that someone had entered the house, He slowly looked around to see if there was someone inside the living room, but there was none. Quietly he walked into the middle of the room and looked around. He grabbed a stool and held it high. He walked into the kitchen, slow and quiet, but there was nothing there. He went through it and proceeded towards the hallway, and there was still nothing. He panted and lowered the stool. He walked into the living room again and placed the stool where it stood before. He was surprised when he saw that the TV worked again. He sat down on his couch and listened to what they said. Apparently he had missed a lot of current reportage, but it was about a bunch of people that had been brutally murdered. Great, Jacob though. More dirt bags to catch. He got delighted when he heard that it was in another city. Since they didn’t talk about any meltdowns, Jacob thought the coast was clear. Jacob, you and your silly imagination, he thought. There isn’t even a power plant near this place! He took a look on the clock. 8:01. ????, I’m going to be late for work! He quickly picks his wallet and his cell phone up from the table near the couch and puts it in his pocket. Just as he’s going to open the door he stopped. The keys! He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the keys lying on the table. He stopped for a second. Anything else I’ve forget? Nope, I guess not. He walks through the outer door and locks it. He unlocks the car doors and climbs in. He pushes the key in and turns it around. He backs away from the approach slowly, and drives toward the city.
Disappointed? You might be thinking: Hey, where's my ???? zombies? Well, that will come in the next chapter (I think). In this chapter I tried to build up the excitement, making you think that something will happen any time.
I'm also building up some character crap too. Since Jacob is old, I made him forget things =3
Tell me what you think about the story. If you want a character you came up with into this, tell me his/her name, what he’s/she’s like, how he/she looks like and so on, and I might add it.
Personally, I think it turned out pretty good. Much better then my older zombie stories.
Chapter 1:
The alarm clock rings. Jacob opens his eyes. He slowly turns his head and looks at the alarm clock. 7:01. Slowly, he raises his hand and presses the snooze button. Tired he bends himself up from the bed. Morning already? He climbs up from the bed while scratching his back. He lowers his arm and puts on his slippers. Yawning he walks through the hallway and down the stairs. He walks into the kitchen and turns on the coffee boiler. He grabs a cup out of the plate rack and puts it one the table. Out off the fridge he grabs a cartoon of milk and puts it on the table as well. He opens the larder door next to the fridge and searches for the sugar bowl, but can’t find it. Mumbling he searches through shelf, but still can’t find it. He turns his look to the counter to see if it was there, but it wasn’t. Annoyed, he takes out a new bowl, fills it with sugar cubes and puts it on the table. He walks to the hallway and opens the outer door, but the sight surprises him. Snow? What the hell? He looks around and hopes to find something, but he doesn’t know what to find. He walks out on the balcony and stops for a second. Odd, he thinks for himself. Where does it come from? He walks out on the entrance towards the mailbox, but when he opens it, there’s nothing there. The mailman’s never late, where the hell’s my newspaper? Annoyed he walks in and closes the door.
He walks into the living room and grabs the book that he’s been reading for a while.
If I don’t get my news paper, I’ll get something else to read. He takes a look at the clock hanging on the wall. 7: 12. Did that take 10 minutes? He walks into the kitchen and puts the book on the dinning table. He grabs the cup and walks to the counter, where he fills the cup with coffee. With a cup of boiling hot coffee in his hand, he walks towards the dinning table. He drags a chair backwards and sat down on it. He pours some milk in the coffee and drops a sugar cube in it too. He raises the cup to his lips and takes a drink of the delicious coffee. At the station, Jacob had been known as the coffee king because of his awesome coffee. Even his boss asked him to make coffee for him sometimes, who hates coffee more than anything on the world.
He lowers the cup and picks the book up. He tries to read a few sentences, but he can’t get the snow out of his mind. He tries to read more and keep drink his coffee, but after a while he can’t stand it anymore.
Jacob puts the book on the table and drinks up the last drops off his coffee. He pushes himself away from the table and slowly climbs up from the chair. He walks away to one of the windows and looks out. Snow in this time of the year? Something’s got to be wrong. He walks into the living room, picks up the remote control and turns the TV on. He patiently waits for the ancient piece of garbage to turn on. He has been thinking on buying a new one, but they’re all so expensive. A thousand dollars for something that he has to change after a few years? They have so many features that it would take his whole life to learn what everything does. The picture finally pops up. He swaps to the news channel, only to discover an annoying static. What the heck? He checks his watch. 7:44 AM. Maybe it’s just a problem with my TV aerial, I can fix that later. He started to walk up the stairs.
He was halfway up the stairway when a loud noise made him loose the grip of stair rail and fell downwards. Quickly he grabbed it again, but his back slammed into it too. A weak pain strained through his back, but not so serious. What the hell was that noise? Holding one hand on his back, he quickly walks up the stairs. He went through the small hall upstairs into his bed room and took a look through the window. There’s nothing outside, just those trees and a hell a lot of snow that shouldn’t be there! Then were did the sound come from? He sat down on the bed and took his slippers and his pyjamas pants of. He opened the closet and took out a new shirt and a pair of pants, which he put on the bed. He closed the closet, opened a drawer and took a pair of socks out, which he also laid on the bed. He put on the socks and the pants, when another noise came. He froze for a second. Okay, I’m getting a little ???? annoyed. He looked through the window again. Still there was nothing. He opened the window and bend through it. He looked on the road towards the city. Still nothing. He got a little frightened. I’ve never heard a sound like that, and I can’t see where it comes from. The TV is broken and strangest of all, there’s snow outside. It’s in the middle of June for Christ sake! Then a thought popped up in his mind. Maybe a nuclear power plant had meltdown! That might be where the sound came from, and this snow is actually radioactive dust! He quickly bends in again and closed the window. His heart started to pound fast. This isn’t good for an old man like me, come on Jacob, deep breath, deep breath.
When he had calm down, he put his shirt on and went downstairs and discovered that the TV was turned on. Wait a minute, I’m pretty sure I turned that thing of, he thought for himself.
Scared that someone had entered the house, He slowly looked around to see if there was someone inside the living room, but there was none. Quietly he walked into the middle of the room and looked around. He grabbed a stool and held it high. He walked into the kitchen, slow and quiet, but there was nothing there. He went through it and proceeded towards the hallway, and there was still nothing. He panted and lowered the stool. He walked into the living room again and placed the stool where it stood before. He was surprised when he saw that the TV worked again. He sat down on his couch and listened to what they said. Apparently he had missed a lot of current reportage, but it was about a bunch of people that had been brutally murdered. Great, Jacob though. More dirt bags to catch. He got delighted when he heard that it was in another city. Since they didn’t talk about any meltdowns, Jacob thought the coast was clear. Jacob, you and your silly imagination, he thought. There isn’t even a power plant near this place! He took a look on the clock. 8:01. ????, I’m going to be late for work! He quickly picks his wallet and his cell phone up from the table near the couch and puts it in his pocket. Just as he’s going to open the door he stopped. The keys! He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the keys lying on the table. He stopped for a second. Anything else I’ve forget? Nope, I guess not. He walks through the outer door and locks it. He unlocks the car doors and climbs in. He pushes the key in and turns it around. He backs away from the approach slowly, and drives toward the city.
Disappointed? You might be thinking: Hey, where's my ???? zombies? Well, that will come in the next chapter (I think). In this chapter I tried to build up the excitement, making you think that something will happen any time.
I'm also building up some character crap too. Since Jacob is old, I made him forget things =3
Tell me what you think about the story. If you want a character you came up with into this, tell me his/her name, what he’s/she’s like, how he/she looks like and so on, and I might add it.
Personally, I think it turned out pretty good. Much better then my older zombie stories.