PDA

View Full Version : My first story please comment


shane905
06-21-2008, 08:45 AM
Hello my name is Shane and this is my story.
Friday, June 13, 2008 8:00 A.M
1 week ago...

I woke up to screaming down stairs. I took my time going down because I was afraid of what was to come. I sneak in and find it is just my radio that was turned on and put to full blast. My cat must have knocked it over. Then I hear it, a news bulletin. Something is causing seemingly normal people turn into mindless "zombies". I flick on the T.V to find nothing but a blank screen with names of places that are supposedly “safe”. That’s when I go onto my computer to find out what’s really going on, but the internet is down.
8:30 A.M
I am trying to figure out what’s going on when I get a phone call from my grandmother, she says that she was picked up by the police on the way to work and they would not say why or where they were going. She tells me to lock all the doors and close all the windows. I do it and then find a knife and head up to my room with my grandmother’s laptop. Maybe there will be a wireless signal that is up.
9:30 A.M
I turn on the laptop and to my surprise there is a signal. The first place I go to is cnn. I read the story’s until I hear a loud banging on the door. I run down stairs and look out peep hole. Standing there are my friend’s Daniel and Tristan. I let them in and asked them if they knew anything about what was going on. They were as clueless as me. Their parents went with their sister to the wal-mart up the mountain and haven’t come back since 7:00 A.M. We eat breakfast and talk about what we should do.
11:00 A.M
We decided to phone my grandmother and tell her that we were going to take the van and head to my grandfathers’ work to pick him up. She tells us that the keys are on top of the china cabinet, but I already know where they are. We head out to the van and get in. I adjust the seat so I can drive. I start the van up and try to find a radio station but there’s none that are broadcasting. We start our trek to Dundas to pickup my grandpa.
1:00 P.M
We arrive at the quarry to find it deserted. Daniel says “where is everyone, something isn’t right.” We get out of the van and head towards the building that tower’s over all the machinery, this is where my grandfather should be. The door is wide open and there is murmuring coming from inside. Daniel, Tristan and I are careful not to make any noise. We peep around the corner and see all the workers including my grandpa crammed into one sealed room. I run towards the room when they signal me to stop. They write down something on a piece of paper and show me it, it’s not good.
End of chapter 1.


This is my first one so be nice. :D

Teh Infernal Zombine
06-23-2008, 08:58 AM
This isn´t supposed to be here, it´s supposed to be in the thread just before this thread.

A little too much with timers, but other than that, it´s cool.

Zergling_Seb
06-23-2008, 10:30 AM
Wrong section.
Story was meh.